12 January 2014

The Big "DTR"

Lets define the relationship, shall we? Ok, if you ventured over to my cancer chronicles page you may have gathered that i'm a bit nervous about tackling "cancer stuff" on my blog. I've gotta start somewhere, right? So here it goes...

my friend has cancer

When someone is diagnosed with cancer, everyone around them kind of takes on a role. Each of these roles has a title. You with me so far? Some of these titles are widely accepted among those in the cancer community; some I just made up. ;) [keep in mind this is coming from the perspective of the patient]

1. Survivor: ANYONE who has ever been told "you have cancer".

2. Patient: A survivor who's having a bad day.

3. Caregiver: ANGELS. These are the people who support, love and quite literally "take care of" the emotional and physical needs of the survivor. [attention patients! these people suffer more than you do. so, stop being an asshole and be a survivor...they'll be kind to you while you make that transition]

4. Friend For Life: This person is someone you already called a friend but who took it to a whole new level over the course of your cancer journey. This person is loyal, loving, distracting and unwavering.

5. Kyle: That person who just won't give up. Even though you aren't very nice to them and don't even really talk to them, they still check in and are truly invested in your well being. [try and marry this person if possible]

6. Everybody else: CANCER PERK ALERT! Cancer allows you to "trim the fat"  from your relationships. That person who came out of the woodwork to post on Facebook how "I just can't believe you have cancer! I can't stop crying." [oh please] Or the person who kinda sticks with you at the beginning but once treatment really gets rolling they are "busy" or just kind of disappear. I personally don't have any #5's in my life anymore--thanks cancer :)

So, who are you?

Well,  I'm off to a friend's baby shower this afternoon. She's having her first baby girl, so naturally I'm giving the little one a few headbands [shhh, don't tell her.]

Have a relaxing Sunday!


  1. Hi there! Thank you so much for checking out my blog. The best advice I can give to you is to be honest, even if that means sharing the ugly details. I've been able to cope with my cancer thanks to humor and sarcasm. We find what works for us, right?! Looking forward to reading more of your blog!

    1. Absolutely! Thank you for stopping by. I appreciate the tips :)

  2. Thanks for stopping by my blog. Its great to hear from other bloggers. I noticed Chelsea commented already. She has a great blog and is one of the reason why I started mine. I found it very therapeutic to just write about the experience and if others find it helpful that's a bonus. I encourage you to share you experience and be as honest as you are comfortable being. I absolutely love Alaska btw. The most beautiful place I have ever been. My son moved there about 4 years ago and loves it.

  3. I am #4, and #6. Wait, there is no #6? Oh, well, I took the liberty of adding to your list. :) I am a PREvivor. I know that is NOT the same thing as being a survivor or a patient, but having a DNA mutation with an 87% risk of breast cancer and 50% chance of ovarian cancer has to count for somethin', right?? ;) Hehe, I love this post, great job.

    gayle | grace for gayle
    I'm a #Previvor!


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