15 January 2014


Let's say you've just heard those three special words, "you have cancer." You're sitting in some doctor's office and probably ask "what now?" Said doctor tells you, but you don't hear him. All you can do is sit there. "Really? Really?! My biggest issue last week was not studying for that psych exam; now I'm wondering about cancer?"

Biggest reality check EVER. Cancer puts things into perspective like you wouldn't believe. Suddenly you find yourself wishing, hoping and praying for other problems. Any other problem will do. Just not cancer.

To this day, when I'm sitting in my oncologist's office waiting for scan results; I pray for different problems. I still wonder "what. the. fu**. How is this my reality?" I think back to a knee surgery or two that may have ended my soccer "career"... just take my whole leg off if you want! I remember a hurtful high school break up... I would do that again every single day. ANYTHING to not have this problem.

I've come to accept this new way of thinking as a blessing. I have a nice, new, more calm approach to life and I dig it! Other "problems" in life, really aren't so bad. Have to have a tooth pulled? No big deal. Power goes out for a night? Inconvenient. Extra long wait at the car dealer? Annoying.

In fact, I had to remind my husband of this just the other day. His car was totaled in a wreck. [He was not the driver. WHOOPS!] Kyle was not pleased. Ok, he was pissed. So I said "honeysugarbabysweetielovebug (i'm sorry about your car!) remember, there are times we have prayed for a problem like this." I think he heard what I was trying to say. We are all healthy and nobody was hurt. It was not cancer.

Here's the bottom line: There is nothing like the heart wrenching, paralyzing panic you feel when you have cancer. Very few other "problems" even come close.

[Honesty time: I still struggle with anxiety surrounding cancer; but I'm working on it. Lets talk about this another day, ok?]

My challenge to you is to try and adopt this new perspective for yourself. Next time you are stressed about something, ask yourself "is this a problem someone somewhere is praying for?" If it is, try to take a step back and relax. Who knows, maybe someone fighting a serious battle is inspired by your grace and poise. {At the very least you are avoiding an eye roll from this person.}

I feel I should be clear about something here; survivors WANT to hear about your problems. We want to hear about normal life. We still want you to complain to us. {Hey, I can relate to the furry of a fresh mani being ruined reaching for your car keys!}What we don't want is to hear normal problems presented as though they are the end of the world--that is when the eye roll comes into play. ;)

End ramble.

Hope your Wednesday was fab!


  1. amanda, I'm sorry you are going through this. there is life after cancer, I promise :) hugs! and good for you for having such a wonderful attitude.

    1. Thank you for your sweet note Karen :)

  2. Hey Amanda! I absolutely love this post. While I may have not personally gone through cancer myself, I have family members who have dealt with the scare of cancer. I am the type of person to be stressed almost always (thanks school!) and I always try to put things into perspective. At times it can be incredibly hard to put a bad day into perspective but I've really been working on it! I thought this was a great post and just wanted to let you know :)

    1. Thanks Hanna! Cancer sucks for sure...but everything afterwards doesn't have to. Its all how you spin it! Stress is real no matter what it's about and it sucks! I just hope people can realize that no matter what your situation is...somebody has it worse. I used to look around the waiting room with tubes in my neck and thinning hair and think "thank goodness I'm not THAT guy--he's really messed up!" Its always about perspective :)

  3. Hi Amanda! I just found your blog and read some of your posts... This is a great post! My mom is a cancer survivor too and while I don't know exactly how it feels, I can say it's a scary process and because of that I've changed my perspective in life too.


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