11 February 2014

Sh*t Men Say

It's simple. If he's male and says something crazy/funny/ridiculous...i'm sharing!

I love the opportunity to have a good laugh at the expense of the men in our lives :) 

Thanks to Amanda  and Danae for hosting!

Duh! Danae!


Here we go:

moms will appreciate this one

Kyle: [as I walk in the door from running up to the store] "Um, will you hold the baby so I can pee?" 
Me: HAHAHA You're kidding, right? 
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this was a few years ago, but Kyle and I joke about it to this day...

We were discussing our wedding decor with one of Kyle's childhood friends when we mentioned how much our table runners were going to cost. His generous friend said "you don't have to spend money on that. I'll be your table runner!" [he later explained he thought table runners were the people who cleared "empties" from your table]
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We are browsing Babies R Us

Kyle: "What the hell is an OH NESS EEE?"
Me: " A onesie?"
Kyle: "No shit. That's how you spell onesie?"
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Kyle: "Catch me, F@*k me." no, this isn't a fun adult game.  apparently this is a saying in the army when somebody is trying to catch you not knowing what's going on.
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Kyle: "Curtesy wipe" -- this is the term he has coined during Mal's diaper changes. "Just when you think she's clean you give her a curtesy wipe because nobody likes to have shit caked on their ass"
#truth
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Nursery rhyme according to Kyle: "Mary Mary quaken shmary" 
Me: Hysterical laughter
Kyle: "Ok, what are the words then?"
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My Dad: "I eat raisins and they give me gas, but I don't mind." if only you could have heard the rest of that conversation...
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My Dad: to Kyle after he farts "I just invaded your lungs!"


I thought this would be a breeze to list all of the ridiculous and hysterical things Kyle (or my dad) says... then I realized he is wildly inappropriate and the things he says are mostly just unacceptable.

I'm really looking forward to taking notes over the course of the next month...




Mal and I are off to Houston!!

15 comments:

  1. Bahahahahahahah!!! SO MANY GOOD ONES! I can't decide between: "Kyle: "No shit. That's how you spell onesie?"" or the "courtesy wipe" for my favorite!!!
    Thanks for linking up with us! :D

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    1. I completely enjoyed this! Will be joining in next month too :)

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  2. I loved "courtesy wipe" and Him not knowing how to spell onesie...so freaking funny. Thanks for the laugh women!

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  3. The onesie one was the BEST! Hahaha.

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    1. I mean come on... how tough of a word is "onesie" lol!

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  4. This is too funny! I love the "onesie" one & the curtesy wipe idea haha.

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  5. These are pretty awesome! Invading lungs are pretty epic but what you might want to share with your Father is that he is also invading mouths. When someone farts and anyone smells it, they are actually tasting it. Anything you smell, you taste-- courtesy of your taste buds. True story.

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    1. Hahaha! I don't know if I want to share that with him or not. It may just further motivate his farting practices lol

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  6. Aw so funny!! I love that he didn't know that was how onesie was spelled--guys are so cute. Haha...have a safe trip!

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  7. These are hilarious, and remind me of my husband! They really do say some *interesting* things sometimes ;)

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    1. Hahaha interesting is a very nice word to use. I'm impressed ;)

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  8. I do this every other week with the things my hubs says. And there are so many that are generally inappropriate for others.

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    1. Right?! and if you censor the comments they aren't nearly as funny. Oh well. They will have to remain our little secret. ;)

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