23 April 2014

"Army Wife"

Kyle being in the military isn't something I talk much about here and there are a few reasons for that. 

First || I kind of struggle with "army wife" being a part of my identity. I'm not the army's wife, I'm Kyle's wife. I can't get behind having my husbands chosen profession being a part of MY identity. When was the last time you saw Kyle wearing a t-shirt that said "proud in-home counselor's husband" or "I love a SAHM?" You don't. I can't think of any other job where this is acceptable. OR do you see husbands of soldiers sporting this kind of attire? I haven't. Anyway. Kyle doesn't introduce himself to people by saying "Hi, I'm Kyle and I'm a soldier" so I don't either. 

Second || Sometimes I feel like military spouses talk about their service member like they hung the damn moon. Can't get behind that one either. Kyle wafts his own farts and doesn't know who we pay our mortgage bill to each month. He has a ways to go to say the least. With that, in my experience, not all service members are good people. I don't think that just because someone is in the military that we should worship them. I chose to marry and have a baby with Kyle for crying out loud! Obviously he is kind of awesome in my book (but please don't tell him that, he isn't short on confidence as it is.) ;)

Third || I can't remember what I can and can not talk about publicly with regard to Kyle's job...so it's best that I just keep my mouth shut. ;)

HOWEVER, I certainly recognize and appreciate the higher calling that is required for agreeing to serve in our nation's military. My grandfathers, aunts, uncles, cousins, father and now my husband have all made that choice. This choice does not come without great sacrifice.

I am so proud of Kyle! But, I would be proud of him if he were a garbage man. All I'm interested in is  his overall happiness at work. Ok, that's not true. I do tell him that if he is going to do sketchy/dangerous shit in the army he better be good at it! Which is why I'm ok with him being away training so much (since the army asked for my opinion and all...) Kyle training means that he and the men he leads are safer in combat.  THAT is something I can get behind. 

side note :: Who doesn't think a man in uniform is HOT!?


I know that everyone's job and situation is different in the military, but as I've said, Kyle's current job has him away from home A LOT. 

There are 9 million reasons why this completely blows.

But, I'm all about silver linings, so lets talk about why all of this time apart is AWESOME.


1. save money :  Kyle EATS. Our grocery budget almost doubles during the pay periods he is home. Also, how many energy drinks or snacks from the gas station on post does one person need?! Bottom line-- if he's not home, he's not spending money which means...

2. more money for me : kidding, kinda. I think that when your husband is away you should be able to make a Pity Purchase, right? ;) Get your nails done. Buy a new top. After all, you just know there will be some kind of problem with the house, car, kids, etc. while he's gone. So, buy yourself something nice.

3.  time to spend on you : I like to take advantage of times when Kyle is away to really work on myself. By that I mean; dive deeper into personal hobbies, spend time with your girlfriends, squeeze in an extra work out, whatever. Not to get super heavy, but being happy as an individual goes a long way when your spouse is in the military.

4. time to do something for your spouse : While Kyle was away at Ranger School I learned that writing him letters and mailing him care packages probably helped me more than it helped him. I missed him less while I was writing or shopping for him. So, now when he is away training or whatever it is they do, I make a list of things that either he needs or that I want to do for him while he's gone. I slowly cross items off of that list until it's time for him to come home. 

5. your house will be clean (er) : This requires no explanation. If your husband is anything like mine he is messy/dirty and brings 9,872 gross things home from work.... but not when he's gone :)

*forget about the calendar! Kyle's unit likes to put out a training calendar for the families to reference. Rarely do things actually go according to their schedule. Until Kyle calls me from the car saying he is on the way home; I try not to think about it. 

This post may look familiar to you. Part of it was featured on my friend Elizabeth's blog, Army Ever After a couple of months ago. You should go see her! She's much nicer than I am ;)

Mal Smiles

Are you married to someone who is in the military?

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