22 January 2015

Toddler Tales || Flying

After having flown to the lower 48 with Mallory at least five times over the past year and a half, I thought I had it down to a science. The number of spare outfits, diapers, wipes, snacks, entertainment, all of it; I knew what I needed and what I didn't. Little did I know how much Mallory's ability to walk paired with my growing belly would make for a torturous "infant in arms" flight. I know you're thinking, "duh Amanda! That sounds like a nightmare anyway." I wasn't thinking it was going to be a pleasurable flight, but not too terribly different from those that preceded this one. 



In Mallory's defense, she did great on the flights to North Carolina! We had two layovers which allowed for plenty of time to grab a meal and find the airport play area. She was calm on the plane and either watched Frozen, ate snacks, or took little catnaps. No complaints here!




It wasn't until the flights home where she really let me have it. Our itinerary included a 2.5 hour flight, 45 minute layover followed by a 6 hour flight. Sounds like fun, right? 
On the first leg, we arrive to our seat only to find a massive man spilling over into half of our seat. He was very friendly and ever so patient with Mallory's shenanigans, but having all the space we could get in our own seat was crucial. After a take off tantrum, I discovered that Mallory had no intention of napping on this flight. Thats ok, lets play! NOPE! Mallory wasn't down for playing. So, I do what any good mother would do and started rummaging through my bag in search of my iPhone to play some Baby Einstein. Only my phone was missing. Yep. 15 minutes into the flight, I had lost my secret weapon. I had everyone around me searching for my damn phone all while Mallory was making it abundantly clear that she was not pleased. No phone. Ok, next idea? I decided to stand in the isle and woo her with an oldie but goodie, the rock, sway, bounce combo. (PS. Flight attendants apparently don't love it when you stand in the aisle during the drink service. #sorryimnotsorry) No dice. Finally an angel from the heavens appeared and offered to switch seats with us. She even had an open seat next to hers. Done and done! Upon parking it in our new, spacious accommodations, Mallory discovered the toddler girl and her mother sitting across the isle from us. Mom was well prepared with sugary snacks and iPads for all.  So Mallory abandoned crusty ol' mom and joined a new family....for the next thirty minutes. Curled up on this stranger's lap, Mallory enjoyed iPad games and incoherent conversations with the little girl. I took a water break. End flight. [Oh, my phone. It was in my seat back pocket....]
During our layover I quickly learned just how important that meal/playtime break was. Mallory wanted to get down and play and we didn't have time for that before embarking on what was sure to be a joyous 6 hour flight. This flight featured, zero open seats and rude flight attendants. Mallory went right to sleep during take off! Pretty decent start after the first flight. The nap was short lived as she was woken up by a flight attendant not only bumping into her but yelling at me to make sure her feet weren't hanging over into the isle. Perfect. 5.5 hours to go. The rest of the flight was spent either walking up and down the aisle, throwing a tantrum or touching our neighbors. Except for the part where Mallory and the unborn baby Woody decide to conspire against me. We had only an hour to go in the flight when Mallory surrendered and started to doze off. Just as I ever so smoothly sat down, baby Woody decided to use my bladder as a trampoline. Up we go to the bathroom, nap time was over. The highlight of this particular flight was upon landing discovering that Mallory had shit all over both of us. Who knows how long that had been there, I can't smell anything thanks to the pregnancy congestion. 
So, do I have any tips for flying with a one year old? Helllll to the no! Buy yourself a beer and hope for the best. ;)

Has your toddler ever really let you have it while traveling?

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